1984 9

A fairly good issue of 1984. The cover for this issue is by Patrick Woodroffe, featuring a spaceship taking off.

First story is "Break Even" by Alex Nino (art) and Kevin Duane (story). This is... believe it or not... a well thought out, intelligent story to kick off an issue of 1984 that doesn't feature sex! It features a pair of astronauts hired to scope out the asteroid field between Mars and Jupiter who find a very small planet that's actually a shrunk gas giant planet which they end up destroying. If only every issue could start off like this.

The second part of "Herma", by Jose Gonzalez (art) and Bill Dubay (story) is second. Herma, refuses to sleep with the Mexican 'sultan' she's been brought to and actually convinces his entire group of wives to leave him. They head through the Mexican desert where they find some more men, who of course they end up sleeping with. Herma is recruited to a whore house where her first customer is actually a talent scout for his mother's movie studio. That's where the story ends, to be concluded in the next issue. As with the prior part, a rather poor story, but very attractive art by Gonzalez.

Third is the issue's best story, "A Clear and Present Danger!" by Jess Jodloman (art) and Gerry Boudreau (story). A man is distraught over the death of his beautiful wife, and agrees to go back in time to prevent the birth of an 'Archbishop' that controls their society and was responsible for her death. In the past he finds the Archbishop's mother, pregnant with him, and pushes her off a cliff, causing a miscarriage. He returns to the present only to find that his actions in the pasts caused his wife to never marry him, and he married a hideous fat woman instead.

Fourth is this issue's color story, "Starfire" by Herb Arnold & Frank Springer (art) and Bill Dubay (story). The issue's poorest story, this is about a flying ace who is just a 13 year old boy and a rival who wants to get revenge on him. The rival sneaks up on the boy in the men's locker room showever, where he has suddenly become a woman, he tries to rape 'him', but gets killed. A very odd story that doesn't make much sense. I miss Mutant World already!

Fifth is "Humungus", part of the Rex Havoc series, returning after a multi-issue absense. Art is by Abel Laxamana and story is by Jim Stenstrum. Rex Havoc and the Asskickers of the Fantastic head to Japan, and this story parodies Godzilla. By this point I have had about enough of Rex Havoc and they must have thought the same thing as this was the series's final appearance.

Last is "The Schmoo Connection" by Alex Nino (art) and Bill Dubay (story). An odd story that is hard to make much sense of due to the poor dialogue and some very exotic, but hard to understand art by Nino. It appears to be about a woman whose husband committed suicide, which is somehow connected to Schmoos, creatures which can change their appearance to satisfy any person's sexual desires. Similar in nature to the story "Snarking Down" from Vampirella 86.